By Dylan Wrenn
September 5, 2018
Feel free to talk to friends and family about your hatred for Nike, Kaepernick, the NFL, the left, black people, whatever you want. It's America.
And yes, as we are in America, you are even free to burn your shoes in protest, but I would just ask you to take a moment and please consider this truth...
Nike does not give a shit about you burning your shoes.
You already bought them. They already have your money.
Your fiery disdain for the brand channeled into the flames that are currently engulfing your Air Force Ones does ZERO to their bottom line. It may even do the exact opposite. More on this in a few sentences.
Let's be honest. What you are doing is trying, hoping, to get just a little attention, because again, let's be honest, anyone who ever burns a jersey, shoe, or flag ALWAYS makes sure to post it for their forty seven followers.
What you are doing in fact, is turning up the burner on the conversation which is EXACTLY what the brand you hate so much wants you to do.
Nike doesn't need a call to action. Nike is Nike. What Nike does need is to cement themselves in zeitgeist. And you know what helps them do that?
PEOPLE POSTING VIDEOS OF BURNING NIKE SHOES!
The swoosh is still on screen, even if it’s burning.
SIDENOTE: How long does it take to burn a fucking pair of shoes? It sounds like an EXTREMELY difficult piece of apparel to burn. Maybe the most difficult. I'm putting the over under at 13 minutes and that will quickly ratchet up if you need a trip to the store because you're low on lighter fluid.
Remember, for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. For every person who likes your post of burning shoes, there are plenty who see that and swear to buy Nike for the rest of their lives.
If you want to never purchase Nikes again, fine. DON'T! That's a perfect, reasonable, and powerful way to get your point across.
But if you, a red blooded American, love the flag and freedom as much as you hate Kaepernick and Nike, and need this symbol of communism? terrorism? anti-Americanism? out of your sight, why don't you donate those shoes to hmmm, maybe vets who have fought for the said flag and freedom you value above all else?
Just a thought.